the sun & the rain.

i could go back... to every laugh
but i don't wanna go there anymore
& i know all the steps, up to your door
but i don't wanna go there anymore

talk to the wind, talk to the sky,
talk to the man with the reasons why...
let me know what you find.

i'll leave my window open.
cause i'm too tired at night to call your name,
just know i'm right here hoping
that you'll come in with the rain.

i could stand up & sing you a song.
but i don't wanna have to go that far,
& i... i've got you down. i know you by heart ♥
but you don't even know where i start.

talk to yourself, talk to the tears.
talk to the man who put you here.
don't wait for the sky to clear.

i'll leave my window open
cause i'm too tired at night to call your name,
just know i'm right here wait hoping
that you'll come in with the rain.

i've watched you, i've screamed your name
i don't know what else i can say...

just know i'm right here hoping, you'll come in with the rain.

i could go back to every laugh..
but i don't wanna go there anymore.

glimpses

do you want a glimpse into my life?? from the start i have said i am not good with words, that is why you will ALWAYS find quotes or lyrics on my blog. it just says everything i can't. i am a passionate person. i know that for sure. but most the time i have tons of different emotions running through my head i don't even know where to start! what to say, how to say it. all that good stuff. i was reading this person's blog who i know as more of an acquaintance but i relate to her soo much. she was writing down some advice about a tough time her friend was going through. i read it and i couldn't believe it. it was like she was writing exactly to me. how does she say things so well?
anyways... it expressed everything i want or could say about my life and feelings at the moment... it gave me clarity. i need that. nothing is sure to me right now. clarity......
enjoy.



"i'm not gonna paint you a picture of time heals all wounds and the classic "meant to be" bull. It will hurt, you will feel like you are drowning and you are desperately gasping for air. You will walk around feeling a crack down the center of your chest and like there are literally chunks missing from your body. It will be heavy and hard to breathe at times. Nights are the worst so try and sleep...but if you cant and you need to scream its okay...scream.. The thought of driving away and disappearing will be enticing. You will often drive with no destination, with tears fogging your eyes and music blaring. You will feel a wide range of extremes from being angry, numb, broken and then sometimes... "okay". Your throat will tighten and burn when you fight back tears in public and you will get good at putting on a brave face. Then you will have days out of no where you are crying in the middle of applebees and its okay. Its okay to say you are broken, cause right now you are. When you think it cant get any worse....cant hurt anymore, it will.
But.....your name holds honor. You will be blessed in so many ways and find things to be proud of yourself for through this trial. Bright spots will be placed in your path and take the time to enjoy them. Those tender mercies are the times you need to remember when its too heavy and you dont know if you can stand anymore. Just buckle your knees and stand because it will be okay...just not yet."


there you go. now you know.
that's just all i wanted to say.

dayDREAMs

one of my amateur creations!

i edit pictures for fun on my macbook, it's something fun to do when i'm bored!

taylor swift came out with a few new songs

music does something for me

so does dance & pictures

i was listening to untouchable when editing this picture

i was missing someone,

but a line that goes along with this picture:

"i am no one special, just another wide-eyed girl whos desperately in love with you"

taylor swift is amazing for one huge reason.

her lyrics... they are so personal & passionate. i love them!

i never know how to describe myself or feelings. she does a lot of it for me!

hey there,

i really haven't written for a while. or so it feels.

i'm home for the holidays,

escaping the cold feels just fabulous!

my hair has changed a bit because i'm slowly working my way back to blonde

(as you can see from the picture above)

well... i've been daydreaming a lot & also discovering new music

so i've felt inspired lately.

i've been very thoughtful about the future and my options

i haven't come to any conclusions yet.

guess what??

my brother comes home from his mission in 1 month from tomorrow.

WOW!

i can't believe it i really can't.

i miss him sooo much.

SOOOO much!

i read such an amazing quote today at church:

"Lord, help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you & i can't get through together."

don't you love it?

it's very comforting.

i decided the future & growing up is scary.

everything is so secure when you are living at home.

not anymore though! but it's ok.

it's supposed to be this way, and i wouldn't want it any different.

besides, Heavenly Father is with you every step of the way.

i've really been learning lately how much He loves everyone individually and cares about each struggle you go through & how much He wants to help you through them.

the Lord is always on your side.

that's also comforting!

I recently reread one of my favorite books

the truth about forever

it's so amazing

Sarah Dessen wrote it.

i have almost all her books. i'm working on the collection!

anyways, i love it because its about not having everything perfect.

somethings are meant to be imperfect.

you work around them and through them and appreciate flaws

i think people these days kill themselves trying to be better & better

don't get me wrong improving yourself is important and working towards

goals is VERY VERY important.

but i'm talking about ridiculous goals that cannot be reached

comparing yourself to other people

holding your value in the hands of the world and not God.

EVERYone is special, i know it.

it's hard to remember, i know this as well.

but when it comes down to it....

there is a magic in everyone that cannot be replaced or repeated.

i don't care what anyone says that is TRUE.

i need to take my own advice sometimes!

don't we all?

the hardest part: discovering what my magic is & where it lies.

i have a lot of thoughts like these running through my head constantly

i analyze and reanalyze my life all the time

what am i doing with my life,

where is it going,

who is very important to keep in my life

what means most to me

where my heart lies

what i could do better in

what kind of person/friend i am

la la la la la la la la la la la

i'd say its overwhelming but i don't like complaining

then i'd notice that i need to improve in that.

here is where the truth about forever comes in

accepting the imperfections of my character & finding the people..

that love to be around you without wanting to change you

that love you for who you are and not for the person they want you to be

i am much too concerned with working on my own flaws

& improving myself

to have other people point it out to me.

when it comes down to it

what i want..

is to be with someone,

who ultimately feels lucky to be with me, for me.

just as i am.

i want to go to bed at the end of the day knowing i was myself.

that's the most rewarding feeling of all.

i HAD A DREAM

i was a little girl alone in my little world

who dreamed of a little home for me..

i played pretend between the trees & fed my house guest bark & leaves

& laughed in my pretty bed of greens.

i had a dream.

that i could fly from the highest swing,

i had a dream.

long walks in the dark, through woods grown behind the park

i asked God who i'm supposed to be.

the stars smiled down on me,

God answered in silent reverie

i said a prayer

& fell asleep.

i had a dream

that i could fly from the highest tree,

i had a dream.

now i'm old & feeling gray.

i don't know what's left to say about this life i'm willing to leave.

i lived it full, i lived it well

as many tales as i lived to tell,

i'm ready now... i'm ready now.

to fly from the highest wing.

i had a dream...

♥

p.s. i went dark!

i've thought about doing it for a while & i finally did.

i like it, it's a fun change but i'm going back blonde in a month haha

i wanna have blonde hair when my brother gets home which is in 1 month & 13 days!!!

NEW obsession... :]

new favorite song. of course :] i just wish i could bring it to life!

i always thought that you & me was something i'd never see.. too good to be true

but i learned a lot about myself, about the world, about life &

i learned it all from you

take me away

take me everywhere you go

before i wake up next to you, there's something you should know

i cant walk on water, and i can't calm the sea

i'm so incapable of so many things...

but i can love you forever

& that's all we need

my hands are tied with weakness

& tainted with imperfection... i'll try so hard not to let you down

but i'm only human and theres so much i can't do

take me away..

take me everywhere you go..

before i wake up next to you there's something you should know

i can't walk on water & i can't calm the sea

i'm so incapable of so many things...

but i can love you forever

& that's all we need

i always thought about you & me.

& i learned a lot... & i learned it all from you.

the things that i would do,

to wake up next to you... but you need to know.

i'm tainted with imperfection, i'm stripped of recollection

of anything & anyone , at anytime... before i met you.

to think if i would not have met you.

it JUST isn't right.

to think about my life without you

without you, i'd die.

i can't walk on water

but when it comes to you & me

having each other is all we need.

the future goes unseen but it holds you next to me,

through the good times & the bad.

cause that's where i stand.

i can't walk on water & i can't calm the sea

i'm so incapable of so many things...

but i can love you forever

& that's all we need

Grow up.

i'm so sick of being told to grow up. & it's not cause i act immature and go around being an idiot. i think it's because people aren't happy with who i am or want to change me or something.. idk. ANYWAYS. i once heard a quote that has stuck with me ever since i heard it:

"to be yourself in a world that is

constantly trying to make you into something else is

the greatest accomplishment"

-ralph waldo emerson

that guy was smart! i love reading things he has said... but this quote is absolutely true. you can't always make everyone happy and most of the time you won't be able to make anyone happy, & that's ok. i have to tell myself that everyday. i've realized how important this time in my life is. when you think about it, it's the only time that i will be able to have time just to myself and focus on what i want to do in the future. so sorry if that doesn't fit into everyones schedules. i can only be myself: i can only be the BEST version of myself or try to be at least. i can try to be as smart as i can, responsible as i can. but in the end, it's still not good enough for some people. oh well. i don't care anymore! what's the point in caring? you truly cannot please everyone because what they want out of you is unreasonable. DO YOUR BEST. and that IS enough. be your best self and that IS amazing.

the point is...

i need to figure all of this life stuff out on my own...

i'm just trying to learn.

but on my own!

the more someone tells me what to do,

the less i want to do it!

i just need to do this on my own,

i need to be myself ,

i need to make my own decisions.

i can't grow up if i'm still being controlled.

if your curious as to what brought this all on... i'm grounded.

yup, on thanksgiving i am grounded. i'm captive in my room till we eat in like 2 hours. actually i don't think i'd be in trouble if i left my room, i kind of just don't want to. oh the joy of being home! haha! i'm supposed to sit in my room and think. THINK about what i'm thankful for & why i was sent to my room... dang it i just realized i'm hungry! i miss being in provo! oh well.. what can ya do? life isn't fair right? i just wish i had my one tree hill seasons with me so i could watch them! my love and obsession for them has been rekindled this week because i have been watching the episodes on tv. (now that i can change the tv to other channels other than abc family)... well i hope everyone else is having a great day with their family!! i guess i'll have to find other ways to entertain myself!... besides homework! haha :]

thanks & giving

i AM THANKFUL FOR:

the sun

weather

i have a car

my dad has a job

he's a hard worker

i am a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints

the atonement

clouds

flowers

quotes

inspiration

love

friends

education

jayden

couches

health

family

history

water

summer

technology

medication

there is so much to be thankful for & i'm grateful for a holiday that focuses on the positive! i'm so blessed i can't believe it! i am home for the week and it is so nice to belong to a place that is so familiar and full of love :] family is the most important thing to me ever & i love being around them. although i miss provo at times, and seeing certain people... i'm still glad to be here. PLUS my brother comes home in less than 2 months!!!

ALSO!

i'm debating whether or not to dye my hair brown.

not a dark brown

but a warm brown, closer to red... maybe even red!

i've been blonde my entire life and i've always toyed around with the idea of going dark!

i need to try in sometime in my life & why not now?

i don't know...

no one will give me a very strong opinion on which way would look best

soo i have till friday to decide!

any suggestions?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

A Belated Halloween!

i love lauren & miss her so much!

don't ask.... hahahahaha

Jayden & I sorta dressed up for a halloween party friday night.. haha k we didn't really.

2 of my favorite people!

sandra d!

BEST FRIENDS!!

i never shared my pics from halloween so here they are :]

my best friend lauren from vegas came up here and me her and her boyfriend danny had

the best weekend ever!!

p.s. i was sandy from greese, lauren was an indian and danny was greek.. we made his costume

from scratch haha

....

halloween night consisted of winger.... which by the way is my new FAVORITE place to eat,

sticky finger quesadilla, perfection!

and then we went to a dance party at the loft with jayden & his friends,

it was honestly the most fun ever!

top 5 best weekends of my life haha.

i can't wait to see lauren again when i go home for thanksgiving :]

BETTER but not best.

i am a lot better in almost every way.

the bad thing is.... i figured out was wrong & what i have to do.

& it's something i've been fighting off for a while,

i really really don't want to do it.

but i know i have to.

i'm glad i have my mom to give me such good advice,

i just have to have faith that what is meant to happen will happen

this could be one of the hardest things i'll have to do.

there is no way around it, i know in the long run it'll be a good thing for me.

i can do this...

in some ways i feel peace for ending the fight within myself,

i pray and pray and pray things will turn out alright.. meaning:

how i want them to

haha, darn my stubborness

well i'm vague for a reason.. sorry.

here's my song of the day.

the stars lean down to kiss

& i lay awake and miss you

pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

cause i'll doze off safe & soundly

but i miss your arms around me...

i'll send a postcard to you dear,

cause i WISH YOU WERE HERE.

i'll watch the night turn light blue

but it's not the same without you

because it takes 2 to whisper quietly..

the silence isn't so bad

till i look at my hands and feel sad,

cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit PERFECTLY

i'll find the pose in new ways

though i haven't slept in 2 days

cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

DRENCHED

in vanilla twilight

i'll sit on the front porch all night

waist deep in thought because when i think of you...

i don't feel so alone.

i don't feel sooo alone.

i don't feel sooooo alone.

AS MANY TIMES AS I BLINK I'LL THINK OF YOU... TONIGHT

when violet eyes get brighter

& heavy wings grow lighter

i'll taste the sky & feel ALIVE again.

and i'll forget the world that i knew, but i swear i won't forget you

oh if my voice could reach into the past i'd whisper in your ear:

"oh darling, i wish you were here... "

one word... PERFECTION

HONESTY...

Soooo...

i know i haven't been the most cheery person lately.

it's quite obvious.

there's been a ton on my mind, & its starting to get to me.

& i'm a quick fix person,

the things that are troubling me aren't fast fixes.

i feel trapped,

by myself, by others & by life.

this all may seem very deep and heavy but as you can tell by the title of today's blog, i'm going to be HONEST.

there are things i have struggled with in the past and may continue to struggle with in the future

all i can try to do is pick myself up

i've been pretty good at that actually,

things can get bad... really bad. but you have to continue each day with new strength

i'm not a pro on this at all obviously.

but all i know is you can't do it alone, and you have to pray your heart out...

IF

you want to get to know me...

all you need to do is look at my playlist.

music is my expression

soooo you'll often find lyrics on my blog.

today has a song .

i can't even describe how perfectly this song expresses me at this moment.

it says all and more than i ever could,

enjoy.

HELP.

i have done it again,

i have been here many times before...

hurt.

myself again today

& the worst is there is no one else to blame

be my friend.

hold me, wrap me up, unfold me.

i am small, & needy.

warm me up

and... BREATHE ME.

OUCH.

i have lost myself again.

lost myself and i am no where to be found,

yet

i think that i might break.

LOST myself again & i feel unsafe,

be my friend... hold me, wrap me up, unfold me, i am small & needy. warm me up

& BREATHE ME

the secret life of daydreams.

i've been feeling super overwhelmed lately.

i feel so much pressure coming from everyone

not only do i put an extreme amount of pressure on myself to be good at everything

but now it's coming from everywhere.

i know how i come off to people, like at times very laid back and probably lazy.

but i'm going crazy inside.

i've always been the type of person that has to be working on something or progressing in some way.. & i'm just stuck.

it sooo annoying & i think i might have a break down soon haha.

i don't like to share negative thoughts or feelings with people so i'm blogging it and i'm not keeping anything from anyone i just don't feel like it's something i should share.

i often feel not good enough, in fact most of the time i don't feel good enough

& i'm sure it is mostly my fault but that's just how it is.

i'm sitting outside of a dance class and it's so hard not to be dancing all the time.

next semester i'm cutting my dancing shorter because i have to get generals and all that jazz done.

& it sucks...

i can't describe what dancing does for me and if i could not very many people could understand it...

hm, maybe the weather is partially effecting my mood? it seems gloomy today

haha not really an excuse.. just sayin.

if you have something to say to me, tease me, make fun of me, put me down, tell what i should be doing or what i'm doing that isn't good enough.

PLEASE!

keep it to yourself.

chances are i already know and i'm 10x harder on myself than what you have to say.

and if you don't mean it & think it's just funny to tease me.

DONT.

it's not a good day for that, cause i will take it personally.

i already know all the ways i could have been better!

thanks, have a GREAT day!

speak to me mozella.

it's almost like you had it planned

it's like you smiled & shook my hand

& said "hey i'm about to SCREW you over big time"

& what was i supposed to do ?

i was stuck in between you and a hard place.

we won't talk about the hard place.

but i don't blame you anymore

that's too much pain to store

it left me HALF dead...

inside my head.

& boy, looking back i see ... i'm NOT the girl i used to be,

when i lost my mind... it saved my life.

it's how you want it to be

it's like you played a joke on me

& i lost a friend...

in the end.

& i think that i cried for days

but now that seems light years away.

& i'm NEVER going back...

to who i WAS.

my fun for the day: editing pics & 80's day!

WOW. it's been a long time!!

i have not written in so long!

do i have a good reason?

not really.

am i being lazy?

maybe...

am i writing right now because i'm at school with an hour before class and am bored OUT OF MY MIND!!!???

yes.

sooooo this has been a really great month.

i'm so happy about my life :]

thanks to jayden i learn something new everyday

mostly about myself, but a lot of times about life.

jayden is my boyfriend & he makes me happy!

so anywho,

guess what???

ITS SNOWING TODAY!!!

this is what i said to lexie today:

"lexie, what we experience this winter, starting today, will change us for the rest of our lives. we will be new people after this winter. this is entirely new for us."

yup & that's a true statement!

so, lately i've been thinking a lot about the future.

things i need to learn... talents i need to get better at... what the heck i want to do with the rest of my life!

seriously, it's so confusing!

here's the thing, i know i can do anything i set my mind to, so it's really hard when my mind doesn't know what it wants to do!

um halloween is this weekend and i'm super excited!

i have a handful of options of what to be but i can't spoil any of them cause then it won't be a surprise on halloween!!! i'll post a picture of the final product though :]

tomorrow in dance it's 80's day so i get to dress up in 80's clothes allll dayyyy!!!

college is sooo much better than high school.

for all those who feel like they have so much more potential in life, and feel stuck in high school & can't wait to get out.

trust me.

you can

you will

& it IS SO much better.

i do miss my family tons.

but i'm going back in a week & a half cause my brother's mission companion that is actually from vegas is coming home in 2 days actually!

my brother comes home in 2 months & 24 days.

not that i'm counting :]

haha k let's be real (lexie language) IM SO STOKED!!!

i could talk about him coming home all day if i could & if people wouldn't get bugged.

haha.

so overall, i'd have to say i love life... ALOT.

& i'll write more often.

or try to.

i could definitely benefit from writing down the many thoughts that go through my head.

LAUREN FETTO IS VISITING ME IN 2 DAYS AND ITS LIKE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!! I LOVE HER SO MUCHH!!!!

now just bring talia, kayla & sarah up here too, & it'd be complete :]

p.s. i quit my job haha i lasted a month. so i need to find a new one, preferably not mornings.

p.s. ummmm have a GREAT day!

HOME.

i Miss MY HOME.

& i didn't until i knew i was going home.

i MiSS lauren, kayla, talia, & sarah :]

i miss minnie & max.

i miss my family.

and contrary to the belief of some people in my ward.

i'm not engaged.

hahahahahahahahaha

that's such a funny rumor :]

VEGAS iN 2 DAYS!!!!

MY SHiRLEY's GANG.

i love working at my new job.

shirley's bakery.

discover it & you won't be the same!

the schedule is killing me... 5am-1pm. then school.

it's only 3 days a week.

but it's weekends

ouch.

i'm trying to hang in there

wish me luck!

i gotta say our bunch of workers at shirley's keeps me laughing

QUOTEs of the day: Me: what if i slipped and fell on the floor right now?

Matthew: i'd probably laugh for a good 30 seconds, then i'd ask if you're ok.. maybe haha.

....

so much love :]

Me: singing already gone by kelly clarkson really really loud & badly

Matthew: If there was a mediocre american idol you'd probably win.

....

(as we are scooping cream cheese icing with our gloved hands.)

Matthew: I kinda just wanna smack your face with this icing right now.

good times :]

ouch i gotta work tomorrow.

goodnight.

T-MiNUS LiKE 10 minutes TILL I SEE MY FAMILY!

OH MY GOSH IM SO EXCITED!

MY MOM DAD & JORDAN ARE ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!!!!

i MISS THEM SOOO MUCH

ahhhh...

i started a job today.

i'll give details

this is gonna be such a great weekend :]

BORED!

so i am kind of bored...

i have no homework!

& i'm waiting to go to a volleyball game at 7... in like 2 &1/2 hours.

sooooooooo.....

GUESS WHAT!

my brother comes home on jan. 21st!!!!

pro.

he's home

con.

i can't be with lexie on her b-day..

but i'll make it up to her :]

k so excitement is filling my body as i speak!.. or type...

sometime in june i WILL BE GOING TO EUROPE!

backpacking across paris & scotland :]

jeff my brother-in-law went on his mish to scotland so we're gonna go back there!

i cannot wait i have wanted to go there for SO long, i can't even explain!

plus we're going with my brother's like best friend from his mission & his family!

so fun!

i miss my family..

not vegas, but my family

& they are coming up this weekend!!

i miss my friends, i wish they lived up here!

i ESPECIALLY miss my dance team!

i'm taking this really amazing jazz class at UVU

& that's great, it seriously solved my terrible day yesterday.

it. was. amazing.

therapy.

hm i'm putting brown in my hair this weekend!

i love change and doing something different!

it keeps life interesting, ya know?

maybe i get bored easily.. maybe i have ADHD? haha quite possible.

what else is new.....

lexie just walked into my room with a lime green hat on.

oh but "it's true religion HELLO!"

so it's all good :]

she said "meagan i'm bored.. fix it"

hm, i don't feel like a meagan...

i talked to camilla & lexie about this at lunch,

they are thinking i'm more of a lauren or a kimberly...

or a camilla.. hahaha jk lexie just made that up

oh, and she thinks i look like a bartholemeu(sp?) jacobsen the 7th.

oh wow.

we are so bored!

OH! we passed our cleaning check today!

i'm painting my nails, purple!

my nail polish never lasts more than 2 days...

i have a bad habit of picking it off!

i love dancing. i could never give it up.

i love music.

words don't even describe so i won't try..

cause if you know me at all you know i wouldn't do it justice! haha

oh so my brother emailed me on monday. or yesterday.

whichever you prefer.

& i emailed him so late he was actually awake for the next day emailing my family!

haha that is pathetic :]

but i found it quite amusing!

he actually made me cry in his email cause he talked about how much fun we'll

have when he is up here in provo and we're going to college together!

i never realized how long 2 years was...

i had to clean the toilet in our apartment today for cleaning checks and i almost gagged..

actually i did gag.

i almost threw up.

then Jenna said "you'll be doing this for the rest of our lives"

and then i almost cried...

hahahaha :]

WOW I WRITE A LOT WHEN IM BORED.

i love you like a melody.. you're running through my head.

i have yet again found a new obsession.

something in your voice, leave me with no choice.

you always win.

the tone and the sound

tears me to the ground

i'm takin in.

you're breaking through my skin

& i love you like a melody

you're running through my head

i love you like a simple song

you always sound the best

i love you.

it's hard to believe

what you see in me

the strength you possess

you're tenderness.

above & below

the night we let go.

there is something i know

you're breaking through my skin

i love you like a melody..

you're running through my head

i love you like a simple song

you always sound the best.

i love you.

you always sound the best.

VENT:

if there is anything i learned up here...

it's how to talk to people when there is something wrong.

what never ceases to surprise me is how people CANNOT talk to you!

what in the world?

how will shutting me out and never telling me a THING help any situation?

are we 5 years old?

in junior high?

if that is what our friendship has come down to,

maybe it's not worth saving?

i don't know... and everything seems worse at night.

i'll be a semi-happy camper tomorrow.

TGFCamilla.

i've met some pretty amazing people up here.

& a boy who makes me smile :]

ya know how you tend to only write in your journal or a blog in my case when you

are upset?

yup, i'm one of those people.

haha.

i hope i have written enough of the good times i've had up here in Provo!

cause there have been so many!

i've made some really great friends.

& here i am struggling.

so where do i find myself?

writing.

i wanna take pictures.

i have an itch to create something and document how i see the world.

it's coming... i'm ready to break out soon!

oh & my family is coming up this weekend!

yayy... it's such a relief seriously.

there's nothing like having people that HAVE to love you no matter what :]

it's such a good feeling.

haha!

i miss them TONS!

but i don't really miss Las Vegas...

i miss friends & family...

they should all come up here! haha

... however, i need to be out here for myself.

it's been really good for me :]

i feel like tinkerbell when she has too many emotions but her body is too small

to contain all of them so she goes crazy ..

weird analogy i know..

i just have too many things i am thinking about i can't concentrate on anything!

oh brother..

oh! which reminds me, elizabeth smart has been called to serve in the same mission as my brother! woo hoo!

p.s. 4 months till i see him again :]

it feels like an eternity

oh! and it's getting cold here in utah!

i love it and i don't love it at the same time...

i love winter clothes.

just not the weather :]

i guess we can't all get what we want!

i went to SLC this weekend, and it was awesome!

i LOVEEE the temple soo much,

and i'm entirely jealous of all the people that can go through them right now!

it was fun!

umm what else is new?

i stay up too late.

but that's not new.

umm, i've been super obsessed with music lately.

also not entirely new.

haha... umm,

i think i'll end by writing down a couple of things that make me happy:

Camilla.

Mountains.

music.

chocolate & peanut butter.

finishing a goal.

true friends.

jayden.

kneaders.

being random.

smiling.

laughing.

feeling pretty :]

doing well in school.

my family.

minnie.

max.

nature.

movies... epic love stories.

being trusted.

knowing i can trust someone.

nicknames!

simple song.

you.