Grow up.

i'm so sick of being told to grow up. & it's not cause i act immature and go around being an idiot. i think it's because people aren't happy with who i am or want to change me or something.. idk. ANYWAYS. i once heard a quote that has stuck with me ever since i heard it:

"to be yourself in a world that is

constantly trying to make you into something else is

the greatest accomplishment"

-ralph waldo emerson

that guy was smart! i love reading things he has said... but this quote is absolutely true. you can't always make everyone happy and most of the time you won't be able to make anyone happy, & that's ok. i have to tell myself that everyday. i've realized how important this time in my life is. when you think about it, it's the only time that i will be able to have time just to myself and focus on what i want to do in the future. so sorry if that doesn't fit into everyones schedules. i can only be myself: i can only be the BEST version of myself or try to be at least. i can try to be as smart as i can, responsible as i can. but in the end, it's still not good enough for some people. oh well. i don't care anymore! what's the point in caring? you truly cannot please everyone because what they want out of you is unreasonable. DO YOUR BEST. and that IS enough. be your best self and that IS amazing.

the point is...

i need to figure all of this life stuff out on my own...

i'm just trying to learn.

but on my own!

the more someone tells me what to do,

the less i want to do it!

i just need to do this on my own,

i need to be myself ,

i need to make my own decisions.

i can't grow up if i'm still being controlled.

if your curious as to what brought this all on... i'm grounded.

yup, on thanksgiving i am grounded. i'm captive in my room till we eat in like 2 hours. actually i don't think i'd be in trouble if i left my room, i kind of just don't want to. oh the joy of being home! haha! i'm supposed to sit in my room and think. THINK about what i'm thankful for & why i was sent to my room... dang it i just realized i'm hungry! i miss being in provo! oh well.. what can ya do? life isn't fair right? i just wish i had my one tree hill seasons with me so i could watch them! my love and obsession for them has been rekindled this week because i have been watching the episodes on tv. (now that i can change the tv to other channels other than abc family)... well i hope everyone else is having a great day with their family!! i guess i'll have to find other ways to entertain myself!... besides homework! haha :]