High school was good for what it was but I felt very clasterphobic like I couldn't grow or blossom into something bigger than what i was. I guess what I'm trying to say is
the opportunities were limited
anyways, initially college was everything I wanted it to be ... initially.
Lately, it's just be sooo...
Hard.
All I want to do is be the best person I can be & the person Heavenly Father wants me to be
but I am at a stand still & i've been here for a while,
I don't know what I am doing wrong either.
The world is rushing past me & I am watching it run away.
One of the things that is hard is getting close to be people or friends but eventually all those people get married, or the ones that I know do haha. But it's not even that- it's the fact that everyone is moving on, they are growing... going somewhere, making something of this time in life & I'm not. I feel like i'm trying but not moving anywhere. It literally feels like I'm standing in the middle of a freeway & all the cars passing by are people in my life. It's just hard... I'm doing the best I can. And I need to be more grateful because I do have a lot to be grateful for. I just can't help but wonder
What am I doing here?
Am I even moving towards the right thing?
Am I moving at all?
I miss my home
My mom
My friends that make me laugh till my abs hurt & love me unconditionally
I miss a lot of things about my life
I haven't been home in 5 months... & I'm going tonight
I will get to spend exactly 48 hours in Henderson & then leave again for another month
Not enough time for me....
There is a lesson to be learned here
I just haven't figured it out yet
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