T-MiNUS LiKE 10 minutes TILL I SEE MY FAMILY!

OH MY GOSH IM SO EXCITED!

MY MOM DAD & JORDAN ARE ALMOST HERE!!!!!!!!!!

i MISS THEM SOOO MUCH

ahhhh...

i started a job today.

i'll give details

this is gonna be such a great weekend :]

BORED!

so i am kind of bored...

i have no homework!

& i'm waiting to go to a volleyball game at 7... in like 2 &1/2 hours.

sooooooooo.....

GUESS WHAT!

my brother comes home on jan. 21st!!!!

pro.

he's home

con.

i can't be with lexie on her b-day..

but i'll make it up to her :]

k so excitement is filling my body as i speak!.. or type...

sometime in june i WILL BE GOING TO EUROPE!

backpacking across paris & scotland :]

jeff my brother-in-law went on his mish to scotland so we're gonna go back there!

i cannot wait i have wanted to go there for SO long, i can't even explain!

plus we're going with my brother's like best friend from his mission & his family!

so fun!

i miss my family..

not vegas, but my family

& they are coming up this weekend!!

i miss my friends, i wish they lived up here!

i ESPECIALLY miss my dance team!

i'm taking this really amazing jazz class at UVU

& that's great, it seriously solved my terrible day yesterday.

it. was. amazing.

therapy.

hm i'm putting brown in my hair this weekend!

i love change and doing something different!

it keeps life interesting, ya know?

maybe i get bored easily.. maybe i have ADHD? haha quite possible.

what else is new.....

lexie just walked into my room with a lime green hat on.

oh but "it's true religion HELLO!"

so it's all good :]

she said "meagan i'm bored.. fix it"

hm, i don't feel like a meagan...

i talked to camilla & lexie about this at lunch,

they are thinking i'm more of a lauren or a kimberly...

or a camilla.. hahaha jk lexie just made that up

oh, and she thinks i look like a bartholemeu(sp?) jacobsen the 7th.

oh wow.

we are so bored!

OH! we passed our cleaning check today!

i'm painting my nails, purple!

my nail polish never lasts more than 2 days...

i have a bad habit of picking it off!

i love dancing. i could never give it up.

i love music.

words don't even describe so i won't try..

cause if you know me at all you know i wouldn't do it justice! haha

oh so my brother emailed me on monday. or yesterday.

whichever you prefer.

& i emailed him so late he was actually awake for the next day emailing my family!

haha that is pathetic :]

but i found it quite amusing!

he actually made me cry in his email cause he talked about how much fun we'll

have when he is up here in provo and we're going to college together!

i never realized how long 2 years was...

i had to clean the toilet in our apartment today for cleaning checks and i almost gagged..

actually i did gag.

i almost threw up.

then Jenna said "you'll be doing this for the rest of our lives"

and then i almost cried...

hahahaha :]

WOW I WRITE A LOT WHEN IM BORED.

i love you like a melody.. you're running through my head.

i have yet again found a new obsession.

something in your voice, leave me with no choice.

you always win.

the tone and the sound

tears me to the ground

i'm takin in.

you're breaking through my skin

& i love you like a melody

you're running through my head

i love you like a simple song

you always sound the best

i love you.

it's hard to believe

what you see in me

the strength you possess

you're tenderness.

above & below

the night we let go.

there is something i know

you're breaking through my skin

i love you like a melody..

you're running through my head

i love you like a simple song

you always sound the best.

i love you.

you always sound the best.

VENT:

if there is anything i learned up here...

it's how to talk to people when there is something wrong.

what never ceases to surprise me is how people CANNOT talk to you!

what in the world?

how will shutting me out and never telling me a THING help any situation?

are we 5 years old?

in junior high?

if that is what our friendship has come down to,

maybe it's not worth saving?

i don't know... and everything seems worse at night.

i'll be a semi-happy camper tomorrow.

TGFCamilla.

i've met some pretty amazing people up here.

& a boy who makes me smile :]

ya know how you tend to only write in your journal or a blog in my case when you

are upset?

yup, i'm one of those people.

haha.

i hope i have written enough of the good times i've had up here in Provo!

cause there have been so many!

i've made some really great friends.

& here i am struggling.

so where do i find myself?

writing.

i wanna take pictures.

i have an itch to create something and document how i see the world.

it's coming... i'm ready to break out soon!

oh & my family is coming up this weekend!

yayy... it's such a relief seriously.

there's nothing like having people that HAVE to love you no matter what :]

it's such a good feeling.

haha!

i miss them TONS!

but i don't really miss Las Vegas...

i miss friends & family...

they should all come up here! haha

... however, i need to be out here for myself.

it's been really good for me :]

i feel like tinkerbell when she has too many emotions but her body is too small

to contain all of them so she goes crazy ..

weird analogy i know..

i just have too many things i am thinking about i can't concentrate on anything!

oh brother..

oh! which reminds me, elizabeth smart has been called to serve in the same mission as my brother! woo hoo!

p.s. 4 months till i see him again :]

it feels like an eternity

oh! and it's getting cold here in utah!

i love it and i don't love it at the same time...

i love winter clothes.

just not the weather :]

i guess we can't all get what we want!

i went to SLC this weekend, and it was awesome!

i LOVEEE the temple soo much,

and i'm entirely jealous of all the people that can go through them right now!

it was fun!

umm what else is new?

i stay up too late.

but that's not new.

umm, i've been super obsessed with music lately.

also not entirely new.

haha... umm,

i think i'll end by writing down a couple of things that make me happy:

Camilla.

Mountains.

music.

chocolate & peanut butter.

finishing a goal.

true friends.

jayden.

kneaders.

being random.

smiling.

laughing.

feeling pretty :]

doing well in school.

my family.

minnie.

max.

nature.

movies... epic love stories.

being trusted.

knowing i can trust someone.

nicknames!

simple song.

you.

food for thought, provided by Sean Kingston :]

image of the day. in memory of New Moon.

You are always trying to fill me with doubt.

Saying that i'd look better if i was thinner

Don't you know you should love me for my inner?

When i left you, i came out a winner ;]

i LOVE the prophet!

The End.

p.s. today was a good day :]

words words words

i can't ever really explain myself very well.

actually i take that back, there are those moments.

however, they are rare

haha :]

i have a lot to say...

but i don't think i want to say it outloud.

that's what music is there for right?

music definitely keeps me sane.

lyrics definitely keep me alive!

so if all of my posts are lyrics of songs.

they have meaning

f.y.i.

i just don't know what i want to say, how i want to say it, & who i should tell it to

i don't want to call anyone out either...

not tonight anyways! haha

people aren't perfect, ya duhh i know right?

i am DEFINITELY not perfect.

so i don't feel like judging anyone.

i just need to say how i feel.

which isn't always easy!

just thought i'd explain myself.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by...

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,


Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right


And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time


And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star