sleeplessness....

us girls at the last Miss Dance Drill Team Comp. 1 year ago

it is one of those sleepless nights.

on one hand it is a good night to be back home in my old room

i got to hang out with my family tonight.

i miss them so much!

every time i come home my little brother gets bigger!

so my spring break begins! this year it includes a weekend with my best friends in laguna beach "chaperoning" our old dance teams dance competition. i'm so stoked. i love these girls with all my heart! ♥

i'll admit i am a bit bummed i don't get to spend time with my family...

there is something bothering me that may be the culprit behind the lack of sleep. i don't really want to talk about it but i think it has to do with the recent try & failure of goals i set for myself. one goal in particular. hmmm.... the worst part about it is that it's not a quick fix problem. i need patience and most importantly perseverance... & i'm a tad impatient! haha. i suppose there is nothing i can do about it tonight so i should stop worrying about it.

i'm a worry wart... i worry a lot about lots of things... but one thing i always remind myself of is "will this matter when i'm on my death bed" usually the answer is no so it gets me to forget about the petty problems of everyday life & enjoy more smiles and sunshine!

welp, here i go a little bit defeated by the day.

but ready to wake up & enjoy what tomorrow may bring!

don't forget to look around & enjoy life ♥

2 weeks.

2 weeks till i can officially say i'm 19!

"merilly we fall out of line, out of line.

i'd fall anywhere with you. i'm by your side.

swinging in the rain humming melodies

we're not going anywhere until we freeze.

i am not afraid anymore, i'm not afraid.

forever is a long time...

but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

you came and you took this heart and set it free

every word you write is so warm to me.

i'm torn, i'm torn. to be right where you are

forever is a long time...

but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

tell me every day i get to wake up to that smile..

i wouldn't mind it

no, i wouldn't mind it at all"

♥

confused

i tried changing my background & i'm failing miserably & getting very frustrated!

hello super nova, are you out there?

life on your own is chaos.

it is like everyone is their own star & we are soaring through the universe

none of us know where we will end up

but have millions & millions of paths we find ourselves soaring towards

the path is crazy and nothing is promised.

however, like magic two stars find themselves gravitating towards the same path

when they collide the universe pulls together & there is peace.

there is a stillness in the surety that these stars were pulled together for a reason

they combine & form their own path

although, this path they are soaring on may be just as crazy as the one before...

their love & power can overcome any black holes that threaten their way.

i have more faith that these collisions exist & maybe... one day i'll collide with a bright star that will be my light all throughout my life.

hello universe, does he exist?

just a thought.

♥

stupid men are the only ones worth knowing - Pride & Prejudice

Jane Austen is a GENiUS!


"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

& so is mozella

"you always get your way...
if this is supposed to be something more,
kindly explain what all the pain is for??

you wanted it.
you wanted it.
don't lie to me.
don't act like i wanted it more...
it's time that we settle the score.
once & for all.

& i picture myself up in your face..
then i picture myself walking away.
... but it never seems to go that way.

it's time we even the score."

melodies ♥

i wish i had a permanent ipod in my head that could play all of these amazing songs that fit so perfectly into life!
well, for starters i found another song that i llooovveeee by kelly clarkson... so of course i'll share the lyrics with you.
2nd... i had such an amazing weekend that began at 11pm on a friday night when a bunch of my friends and i got bored and decided to take a road trip down to vegas!
3rd... this next weekend ... starting on thursday around 730 pm will beat all other weekends i've had in my entire life!

1st:

"if anyone asks, i'll tell them we both just moved on.
when people all stare i'll pretend i don't hear them talk...
whenever i see you i swallow my pride & bite my tongue.
& pretend that i'm ok with it all
act like there is nothing wrong.

is it over yet?
can i open my eyes?
is this as hard as it gets?
is this what it's like to really CRY?

if anyone asks i'll tell them we just grew apart.
what do i care if they believe me or not..
whenever i feel your memory is BREAKiNG my heart..
i'll pretend i'm ok with it all
act like there is nothing wrong.

is it over yet?
can i open my eyes?
is this as hard as it gets?
is this what it feels like to really cry?

i'm talking in circles
i'm lying, they know it.
why won't this all just go away...

is this what it feels like to really cry?"


a masterpiece if you ask me! but i say that about most songs that inspire me...
i just get it all out in music so i can move on in other places in my life,
which has been very effective really!
basically i won't talk about this very much so the bottom line is
i'm going to be great!
and that's what i'm working up to! :]
LiFE iS FABULOUS!

so 2ndly
my spontaneous trip to vegas this weekend was a blast & i can't even describe how much fun we all had!
some pictures are posted above!

ok, & 3rdly...
MY BROTHER COMES HOME FROM HIS MISSION IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going home in 1 day to be there when he comes home!
i'm so soooooo stoked.
he's definitely going to be my best friend... i already decided so hopefully he agrees!
haha he's already such an example to me, & he's been such a blessing to my family
he is definitely my hero!

missionaries are super hard to send off but then they come home & it's amazing :]

i cannot wait life is so amazing!!