update!

well hello there stranger.

i suppose i am the stranger since i have been MIA for 3 weeks.

let's see the biggest news in my life right now is that i decided i was going to compete in the Miss UVU competition in October. Just about the time i decided to do it i

lost my mind.

seriously i got 10 times busier automatically and put 10 times more pressure on myself

the biggest thing is getting shape which stressed me out so badly i have had 2 breakdowns in the past week.

today i am in recovery haha

but it is something i want to do so badly. i need to do this & prove to myself i can.

anyways....

i've also just been working like crazy because a receptionist went out of town.

but tomorrow is the first day of an actual orientation & i'm sooooo stoked!!!

i love love love being an orientation leader.

maybe because i love the people i work with?? ALOT!

i also squeezed in a photo shoot in the minimal time i have in a day.

it was the first engagement session i have done & it was pretty fun!

here is 1 pic..

this is one of like 200 i took so hope ya like it!

i do love taking pictures! so that's pretty cool haha.

ah i'm tired sorry if i ramble or don't make sense

whatever.

oh ya so if you haven't seen me lately this nice pic above is what i look like now (post-losing my mind) yaaa.....

and at work (pre-losing my mind)

haha jk that was like 10 minutes ago but i like taking not cute pics so let's pretend i look like

that ugly pic above! k? sweet thanks!

uhh....

lkwefhiuwe9uhaldhfkdbnwklehlfk

i have issues.

& roommate drama

one is moving out.

my response to that i ok haha. i don't really care & the drama has nothing to do with me soooo whattevverrrrr

um what else...

i'm giving a talk on sunday

i kinda don't care either, i think because i have a billion other things to do

like finish a paper. i already finished that though. school officially ends tomorrow

YAHOO!!!!!!!

which reminds me i have to learn a song to sing in church also hmmm..

ok vent time:

the only thing that bugs me more than being stressed is people that get mad at me for being busy and not making time for them which makes me more stressed. when i am stressed i push people away so if i cannot speak with you for a while chill OUT! gosh. the more you try to more i will push you away. if i have time we will hang out ok? k good thanks for your time.

end rant.

so my mom is coming this next week so that is pretty sweet!! :]

welp, i don't think i have much more to say besides

i'm obsessed with the new show PRETTY LITTLE LIARS.

it's really really fabulous!

check it out.

adios.

since i have the habit of blogging when i'm upset...

why in the world is everyone

GETTING MARRIED!?

can we all just chill out for a second...

i'm not going to have any friends soon

cause they will all be married before i am 20

leaving me an old CAT LADY.

not ok people, not ok.

end rant.

the archie.

on tuesday my friend Cori invited me to come to a book signing David Archuleta was doing.

it wasn't really advertised that much so it wasn't SUPER crowded.

but WOW

he is so talented.

he sounds even better live than on CD if that is even possible.

He was super super nice & sang 2 songs.

"crush" & "lean on me" (accapella)

he's a lot littler in person.

but still super cute!

it was amazing and definitely made my week :]

oh & he touched my hand. haha

the book

cute smile!

who are you not to be?

there are some days where i feel very insignificant

& most days i battle self doubt on & off

each day when something in my head or someone tells me what i can't do

who i can't be

i fight it off

i battle with that because it is 100 percent NOT TRUE.

as goes for EVERYONE.

our biggest critics are ourselves & that statement is factual in my life.

HOWEVER,

i believe with my entire heart we all have the potential to be greater than we ever imagined

"it is not our darkness that scares us the most it is our light. We are afraid that we could be more powerful than we imagined. Sometimes we say who am I to be beautiful, wonderful, and smart. WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE???"

this constant thought or fear of failure is a battle but it's one worth fighting...

especially in this time of my life where i am considering alll my options

alll my possibilities & the great things i want to accomplish

which is scary because once it is in my head... it won't leave & then it might mean...

I ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO IT!

scary thought haha.

but i've created a list of goals or things i want to accomplish this summer/ over my lifetime

it made me feel so happy to write this all down & consider my options

& i some of them have already begun to happen

& then the more i realized i can actually do some of these crazy things.

like,

compete in Miss UVU.

or create my own pottery on a pottery wheel

it feels good to know i can accomplish things and have more passions

BE a BETTER ME.

I hope this summer is full of accomplishments & hope.

hope for my possibilities

happiness for the things i conquer

as for now i smile because every little part of the day is great.

even just the sun shining :]

HELLO, my name is meagan & i am alive.