iSSUES

i am having issues.

i have been pretty stressed lately.

there is a lot to think about...

school, money, and such.

let's just say i have a lot of school ahead of me.

not to mention the money i want to save

in order to reach my goal by supporting myself in a couple years.

looking forward to the long double job, school filled summer

in front of me makes me a bit stressed...

maybe i don't handle stress well?

but i think i have been lately, i just need to leave.

i need to spend a week at home just hanging out with

my family & enjoying the feeling of belonging somewhere.

i miss them a lot & i haven't gotten to spend more than 2

days with them in the past 2 months

i know i know that's a little pathetic to say since

most guys up here in provo have spent 2 years away from their families...

i just need them right now.

there's a lot of issues in my apartment as well

more stress...

& i'm seriously lacking motivation to do homework..

oh, brother.

p.s. Happy 21st bday to Elder Chad West!

i. am. 19.

"I feel these four walls closing in...

face up against the glass i'm looking out, hmmm.

is this my life I'm wondering?

It happened so fast

how do I turn this thing around?

All I want is the wind in my hair
to face the fear but not feel scared

wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses
Run with the wild horses.

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare-back, care-free
Along the shore
If only that someone was me jumping head-first, head-long without a thought
...
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Recklessly abandoning myself before you

I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too
I wanna run with the wild horses.

I wanna run with the wild horses

♥

Well my 19th birthday was last thursday & it was a really great birthday! I woke up and found flowers delivered to me from my sister & brother-in-law... not to mention their cute dogs Milo and Monkey. After school I went to Joe Vera's with my grandma. WHICH IS THE BEST RESTAURANT ever :] :] seriously. plus, it brings back great memories of my whole family going there growing up. I think this was the highlight of my birthday. Then my friend Melissa stopped by and we chatted for a bit. she brought me a candy gram it was so cute! & a really good idea... My mom & family ordered a cookie bouquet that got delivered right before i went out to dinner... Then for the night festivities my good friend Brittany took me out to dinner and ice cream.

Us at Chili's

chips & salsa... cause i didn't get enough at lunch. haha did i mention i'm obsessive over mexican food??

Strawberry Daiquiri yumm :]

yay for birthdays!!

after chili's we followed it up with coldstone.... SO GOOD!

my weakness...

but lets be real, food in general is my weakness haha.

the whole day was just special and i felt so loved by all of the friends that wished me a happy birthday many of which i couldn't mention cause it would take forever!! but i'm so grateful for friends and to be alive for another year :] i'm so stoked to be able to say i'm 19.

that's about it for my bday!

sincerely,

ME

"Not every love story is a novel, some are short stories.

But that doesn't mean that it was filled with any less love."

♥

SPRiNG BREAK!

Spring Break was awesome! It was really a once in a lifetime chance to go to the MDDT competition with my old dance team & best friends that graduated with me last year. It was tons of fun & i laughed so much! The girls did so well in their dances and placed 3rd in their jazz dance. I'm very proud of them... On the last day we went to Laguna Beach & spent the day there. Enjoy the pictures I posted!

Kayla, Lauren, Ms. Rossiter, Talia, Allie & Me

♥

"i've been learning to live without you now. But i miss you sometimes. The more i know, the less i understand. all the things i thought i knew... i'm learning them again. i've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. But my will gets weak, & my thoughts seem to scatter. But i think it's about forgiveness... even if, even if you don't love me anymore."

There was this psycho girl Reagan that kept following us on the beach and wanting us to play with her!

Talia

Kayla

Me

Allie

Lauren

My Russian haha

Good old Laguna Beach :]

ALL i WANT iS TO ROCK YOUR SOUL

This is the movie theatre on Laguna Beach (the show) where Jason asked Jessica to Prom. I know that is so pathetic i know this but i'll be honest and just admit i'm a reality show junkie!

Going to Johnny Rockets is a Laguna Beach Tradition :]

sleeplessness....

us girls at the last Miss Dance Drill Team Comp. 1 year ago

it is one of those sleepless nights.

on one hand it is a good night to be back home in my old room

i got to hang out with my family tonight.

i miss them so much!

every time i come home my little brother gets bigger!

so my spring break begins! this year it includes a weekend with my best friends in laguna beach "chaperoning" our old dance teams dance competition. i'm so stoked. i love these girls with all my heart! ♥

i'll admit i am a bit bummed i don't get to spend time with my family...

there is something bothering me that may be the culprit behind the lack of sleep. i don't really want to talk about it but i think it has to do with the recent try & failure of goals i set for myself. one goal in particular. hmmm.... the worst part about it is that it's not a quick fix problem. i need patience and most importantly perseverance... & i'm a tad impatient! haha. i suppose there is nothing i can do about it tonight so i should stop worrying about it.

i'm a worry wart... i worry a lot about lots of things... but one thing i always remind myself of is "will this matter when i'm on my death bed" usually the answer is no so it gets me to forget about the petty problems of everyday life & enjoy more smiles and sunshine!

welp, here i go a little bit defeated by the day.

but ready to wake up & enjoy what tomorrow may bring!

don't forget to look around & enjoy life ♥

2 weeks.

2 weeks till i can officially say i'm 19!

"merilly we fall out of line, out of line.

i'd fall anywhere with you. i'm by your side.

swinging in the rain humming melodies

we're not going anywhere until we freeze.

i am not afraid anymore, i'm not afraid.

forever is a long time...

but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

you came and you took this heart and set it free

every word you write is so warm to me.

i'm torn, i'm torn. to be right where you are

forever is a long time...

but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side.

tell me every day i get to wake up to that smile..

i wouldn't mind it

no, i wouldn't mind it at all"

♥

confused

i tried changing my background & i'm failing miserably & getting very frustrated!