happily ever after ♥

" alot has happened - and most of it is not anything i expected or how things would turn out. i don't understand it all really. i just want CLARiTY & i'm learning not to be afraid of my feelings & to explore them.. even if they aren't pleasant, even if i'm AFRAiD of the truth. you can't hide from them. you need to accept them & pick yourself up .. then move on. easier said then done of course but it's all a learning experience. it's a journey and that's why we're here. i gave my life to someone that gave it AWAY- away not back because i will never have that life back. NEVER. that is a feeling i shy away from ... it's so... permanent. & it scares me to believe that but it's true. i can't look back anymore only forward- because forward is my life now... it's what it is now & how i will shape it. it feels empty & lonely at times but i turn my heart to God and he mends it for a while. He is like the perfect best friend."

this came straight from my journal. i've done so much learning and thinking lately.
& it's amazing what i have found.

the gospel is so magical, i wish everyone could understand the deep & infinite love Heavenly Father has
for everyone... how much He knows, how much He cares. He truly knows absolutely everything that
you fear, love, care about, want, and so on... i could go on forever. there is so much more i have learned.

it is ok to struggle and be afraid and cry...
it will all be ok.
because there is already a much much better plan unfolding in your life that God has prepared for you.
there are glimpses of light on the street corners in your life.
find them... people are sent to you on purpose..
nothing is coincidence

Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the
very source of the light you seek. he does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears
your prayers . He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears
His children shed. - Jeffery R. Holland.

i'm a quote addict and there are so many more to come,
but in the end...
i know what i want.

"if i am deciding who i want to spend eternity with i want someone who can't see a life without me, & who fights for me, & who would chase me if i walked away. i'm taking my heart back one sliver at a time & i will be all the things i want to be... but my mind will keep my heart in check because when i fall in love again, when i find my forever... He will care much too deeply about me, he'll think about how i'm doing all the time, he would never let me go, & believe with all his heart that every part of me is extraordinary & he is lucky. someday I WiLL FiND THiS..."

this is my happily ever after.... :]
the end.